Hey Brother

Right about now, things sped up; in chronological order :

P.HAN

First Met: 2002

Graduating: 2006

Studying: Psychology

Residing: Frat House; traditional

I met P.HAN freshman year, thought he was cute and wanted to try something but, of course, he appeared to be sampling all the first years he could. Also, I had this pesky boyfriend problem, so there’s that. Fast-forward to this year, and one “let’s get out of here” conversation after another, all of which going nowhere, despite the fact that our coupling has more or less been mediated by my friend, the divine Mz. R., who formerly fucked P.HAN (and may be continuing to…?). Ran into him tonight in a basement, and I’ve got my period like I don’t know what; of COURSE this is the night he out and out propositions me, right? Paws all over me, low voice, no personal space between us (and the place ain’t that crowded…), he tells me that he’s liked me for some time and really wants to get together but we can’t make it happen, etc. Okay. To be continued.

J.HAN

First Met: 2002

Graduating: 2006

Studying: Geography

Residing: Frat House; scary

J.HAN also got met freshman year, but I couldn’t figure out if I was actually attracted to him or just wanted to upset my then-boyfriend, as the two became bitter enemies (at least, on my boyfriend’s side). Years later (read: now), he’s slept with at least two of my friends and they’ve had nothing but good to say. After losing a drinking game (badly. Losing badly.), I scamper upstairs to say hello and turn into the best wet dream ever; “I was just thinking of you,” he says, turning on the light. And what does one do when he is having an erotic dream, the object of which wanders into his bedroom at 2am? Well, if she has her period, not much, but I certainly saw enough to remark, “I guess the rumors were true.”

B2. HAN

First Met: 2004

Graduating: 2007

Studying: Engineering

Residing: Frat House; Asian

B2. HAN was a resident of the RA I called my fake-boyfriend for about 3months (we acted the part for about three times that long, but the name game we played should be reserved for another post altogether); a good kid all around, who always has smoke and always invites you into the circle. For whatever reason, we found ourselves upstairs watching Alexander as I cleaned under his fingernails and massaged his hands and he massaged my neck and back. In some ways, the whole thing can be attributed to Rosario Dawson and her huge breasts; she and Colin Farrell started going at it like they were making a baby (and, according to the plot, that’s indeed what they did), which just inspired B. HAN and I to follow suit. Hott. Except, of course, for my bleeding. Not so hot, there.