A3.NYC - 3

"You really don't trust yourself, do you?" he said, as I left.
Responded my friend:

[03:56] Simon Cowell: OH GOD NO HE DIDNT!!!!!
[03:56] Simon Cowell: NO!!!!!!!!!
[03:57] Simon Cowell: I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!!!!!!
[03:57] Simon Cowell: not the old "you dont trust yourself"
[03:57] Simon Cowell: which is a close cousin to "you dont want to be happy do you"
[03:57] Simon Cowell: which is the stepchild of "are you afraid to love"

Indeed.
Let me back up.

At some point, during the week I was going crazy, A3.NYC wanted to make dinner for me. I declined; my mind was about to explode, I had just seen him earlier that week (and he'd called me an hour after we parted company to tell me to watch the moon ...), everything was just spinning out of control. So I cancelled, and he rescheduled for tonight. That'll show me.

So basically, I got to his place around 6pm; I watched him make dinner for me (a totally gourmet but not v. difficult meal), we drank some wine (which tasted great at the time and then ... no), we talked a lot (because talking was never our downfall). So things are going pretty well when The Seduction starts. He plays piano for me and holy shit, the boy is good. He starts hovering around me - standing by my seat while I'm still seated and looking meaningfully into my face even though we're discussing ... cartoons? So eventually, I excuse myself to the bathroom and when I come back, he's set up camp in the room. "Come listen to this," he says. Oy.

So we're in his room, on pillows, listening to music and finally (a relief ? a blessing ? a curse) he tries to kiss me. Because I really like this fellow, I'll spare any cutting remarks and begin thusly - I guess I've never refused anyone who so ardently wanted to kiss me. And this is what I learned from the experience; if you refuse someone who ardently wants to kiss you, you will inevitably have to listen to an explanation of both why and how much this someone wants to kiss you. Which sent me running out into the darkness - quite literally, as I left his apartment and got halfway down the pitchdark stairwell before he stopped me. Which is when he dropped that winning little nugget that we started this post with.